Christianity, Faith, God, Learning, Life, Uncategorized

Let it Go


I am a Christian.

By this I mean I follow the teachings of Jesus Christ and believe He is the Son of God. I have come far way to where I am now, and I still have further to travel. This is about another step in that journey.

I at times have trouble living up to my faith, I struggle to live a life pleasing to to God. This is made worse when this difficulty is as a result of me wanting what I want, when what I want is contrary to His will.

It was in a sermon by Kirk Franklin that first brought this into clear perspective for me. He spoke of a child climbing on a chair, precariously balanced, trying steal cookies from a Jar. The thing that was driven home to me is that, because the child wanted what he wanted, he failed/refused to head the warnings of his parents and so he put himself in a position when everything would come falling down.

After hearing this sermon I spoke to God about helping me to deal with my propensity to ignore Him when I was reaching for what I wanted while knowing it was not what he ordained… at least not like this.

But still I struggled,  I mean, yes He heard my cry and Yes He bailed me out and delivered me showing me the way… but, I still reached and climbed for what I wanted every now and again, ignoring His call.

The other day the idea came to make a sacrifice for lent. This was not the first time I have had such a call, but this time what was asked I KNEW I could not do. It was easier to give up before I started. But then, He reminded me of our “discussion”/”deal” that lead me to get baptised. He was not after my perfection, He was after my commitment. Perfection was his purview.

With that reminder came the words “Let It Go”. A call to let go of what I wanted, of hedging my bets, Of holding back some treasure that is not mine to hold. To Let Go of what I want and hold on to Him.


Life, NBA, Sports, Uncategorized, Work

Just so I can say I posted

For the first time in months I find myself with both time on my hands and a desire to post. Unfortunately I don’t have a topic…. so…

New Direction:-
I have been toying with the idea of making this blog more about my spiritual growth. Already the last couple of posts have touched on this, but I have been wanting to share more about this “new” path I am on.


The most iconic picture of the of last season for me:



Nuff! but still enjoying it.



Gospel, Life, Personal, Rambling, relationships, Spiritual, Uncategorized, Women

Hiatus update: Thy Will be done


So its been some time since my last post and not much has changed other than my continued development as a committed Christian.

One of the interesting things about this “new” direction, is the fact that I don’t really feel that different. I am still the same Me I always was… albeit maybe a little older, a little wiser and a little clearer on what path I should follow… but only a little.

It is a daily struggle and the path is not always very clear, however it’s a worthy cause and I am committed to it.

This post however, is not about that.
This post is about my hiatus. For the record, I am still on it, but my reasons are now very different.

I had joking told my father once that If I were to get married it would be God’s will for it certainly wasn’t mine.
Its funny how God has a sense of humor.

Since my commitment, one of the things that God has been reminding me quite frequently is: “Thy Will Be Done”. It took a while for the implications to register, but when the did … wow!

So! What does this mean?
Not much right now. I believe that I am not ready for a relationship and to be honest I still don’t want one, but I also know that as his servant, this is not up to me, and I am OK with that. It turns out that “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”.

In other words God is saying to me “I got this”. whichever path I must follow, he will never leave nor forsake me.

Life, Spiritual

My Testimony

I got baptized today, another step in the long, never ending journey to be a better me. Below is my testimony that I submitted.


That essentially sums up my testimony.
I gave my life to Jesus years ago but never wanted to make the next step of baptism thinking “I am not ready for that level of commitment”

But then one day the pastor asked “Are you a fan of Jesus, or are you a disciple?”.

Ouch! That hurt, It was the kind of rude awakening that I now realize God has been lining up every event, every occurrence and every moment of my life towards.

He has patiently and mercifully watched over and guided me to the point where I am now.
And that brings us back to Grace.

I had to learn that he is not interested in my perfection, because he knows I will never get there on my own. No, in spite of me, he wants my commitment, he wants me to seek him first and to serve him.

He said: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Life, Love, Sex, Sexuality, Spiritual

A connection

I am comfortable with my sexuality and I am comfortable with that fact that I am open minded and willing to explore it even further.

What I have learned however, is that intimacy, sensuality and sexuality are things that don’t come unattached. There is a person at the other end of it that requires a commitment from you, and no matter your beliefs, everyone can acknowledge the sex is sacrosanct.

There is something deeply connecting and profound about shareing your sexual being with someone. As a result, if I am not prepared to commit to this connection then I am little more than a thief.

One should not have one without the other.

A commitment of self and shared sexuality enhances and reenforces the connection you share with a person and I believe there is something holy about that.

Life, Sex, Sexuality, Uncategorized

Christianity and Sexuality

For a long time I believed that the teachings of the christian church incorrectly suppressed peoples sexuality. To be honest at this stage of my spiritual walk I am not sure they don’t.

The truth is Sexuality is a difficult topic to handle especially with young people.
In my own personal life, I have come to understand what I believe the bible is trying to teach.

Life is more than the pursuit of pleasure

This is something sex is often used to do. Normally in such instances people are searching or trying to find that something, and the only time they capture it, is in those few fleeting moments of sexual (or other) ecstasy. The problem with this is that it is not sustainable. You eventually find yourself having to push the envelope further and further just to recapture a hint something that, in all honesty you cannot achieve.

Self control is not a bad thing

The other part about the churches view on sexuality is the feeling that were just telling me “don’t” with no logical reason. I have a problem blindly following orders. Why would having sex be bad? Now there are a number of reasons that I wont go into right now. The point that I want to get at here, however, is the need to not become a slave of your own desires.

It is AMAZING how  insidiously sexual pleasure can suspend your ability to think clearly or make rational decision. This more than any other reason, has been the driving force behind curbing my own impulses. It is when I decided to stop that I realized just how much of a slave I am to my libido. It is these things the church, or anyone for that matter, would have a heard time to explain. Its not until you experience it that you truly understand the danger of this. Mind you not everyone will have a problem with this… but then not everyone has had great sex 😉

Have/Use sex responsibly but have fun doing it.

Having said all this I believe it is OK to embrace your sexuality. There is an avenue of a dedicated relationship (AKA marriage) that allows a couple to explore the full gamut of each others sexual selves. What happens in the bedroom in such an instance is out of the prevue of the church and it’s doctrines. Find your partner, commit and have a blast … or more 😉