I am a Christian.
By this I mean I follow the teachings of Jesus Christ and believe He is the Son of God. I have come far way to where I am now, and I still have further to travel. This is about another step in that journey.
I at times have trouble living up to my faith, I struggle to live a life pleasing to to God. This is made worse when this difficulty is as a result of me wanting what I want, when what I want is contrary to His will.
It was in a sermon by Kirk Franklin that first brought this into clear perspective for me. He spoke of a child climbing on a chair, precariously balanced, trying steal cookies from a Jar. The thing that was driven home to me is that, because the child wanted what he wanted, he failed/refused to head the warnings of his parents and so he put himself in a position when everything would come falling down.
After hearing this sermon I spoke to God about helping me to deal with my propensity to ignore Him when I was reaching for what I wanted while knowing it was not what he ordained… at least not like this.
But still I struggled, I mean, yes He heard my cry and Yes He bailed me out and delivered me showing me the way… but, I still reached and climbed for what I wanted every now and again, ignoring His call.
The other day the idea came to make a sacrifice for lent. This was not the first time I have had such a call, but this time what was asked I KNEW I could not do. It was easier to give up before I started. But then, He reminded me of our “discussion”/”deal” that lead me to get baptised. He was not after my perfection, He was after my commitment. Perfection was his purview.
With that reminder came the words “Let It Go”. A call to let go of what I wanted, of hedging my bets, Of holding back some treasure that is not mine to hold. To Let Go of what I want and hold on to Him.