Giving Birth

Having just watched a video of a woman giving birth, I ask myself; “do i want to knowingly inflict this upon a woman I claim to love?”

Reminded

Today i was reminded why i have chosen not to get married.

what women want?

Women want a man who needs them but isn’t needy – unknown

Profound

This is quote i saw My cousin with:

A woman’s heart must be so hidden in God that a man has to seek God to find her.

How to be her man; Tip # n

This is a topic i CLEARLY know jack SH(aving cream) about but i wish to share my foolish thoughts…

Topin # n
(Aside: I use ‘n’ instead of a number because n represents a variable. Due to the nature of women the number things one may need to do to keep her happy may change from time to time. At other times it is unknowable (almost) )

What to do when you piss her off.
I, like most men, have a knee jerk reaction when we have done something to upset that significant other, we go out of our way to address that whatever it is that we have done to cause this strife within the relationship. I have found that many of these “emergency” actions we take cannot be maintained  and so we often fall back into a routine that will prob lead to the same thing happening again.
In this  environment, the concept of  “sustainable and visible change” is important. Yes, the knee jerk is inevitable, but one must learn to look long term. Identify the problem and see how you can adjust to accommodate its resolution. Please note, however,  that the key to the “sustainable” part of this equation, is the fact that the change has to be something you can be comfortable with doing…. If not you may chafe.

The visible part is very important as well.  PLEASE NOTE, BEING VISIBLE DOES NOT MEAN SAYING “LOOKING HONEY I PUT BACK THE TOILET SEAT” EVERY TIME YOU PEE. Instead be subtle, it needs to be noticeable,  so that she knows you are making an effort.  Some partners will see this on their own accord… if you are that fortunate, YAY for You. For others… its not so easy. The key to tooting your own horn is not letting people realize you are the one blowing it.

Having said this, I am tempted to say that the visibility part of the equation is more important than the sustainability, but that is a lie. Such a tact will only delay the inevitable. Likewise, to do the opposite will just bring about the end that much sooner.
If it were that easy, being in relationships would be boring. You must learn to do what sometimes seems impossible, i.e. both.

The glass wall

OK this is one of those posts about relationships … and yes its another one of  “those”

Last night, in talk with a friend, I was lamenting the fact that women seem to constantly beat their heads against the glass wall.
It is founded on the premise that women are usual miserable in relationships.
I have yet to meet a human in a relationship that didn’t have something to complain about. I have had many talks with women close to tears in anger or frustration about something “That Man” (or “boy”) has done or continues to do.
For a long time i was in shock… There is NO way that i would stay in a relationship with someone who made me feel that way….. NONE
And yet recently I realized that again it has to do with the nature of women, I was told “the more a woman loves someone the more worked up she is about that person”. Sue me but that is something i only just realized…….U get miserable with someone you love????

<rolls eyes> women!

But here is my thing, pretend men are glass buildings… there are some open spaces to some things you want and somethings you can do without, and there ore other spaces with perfectly transparent glass walls leading to something you want…..
Now, the stereotype I  am creating, after seeing something she wants, will walk straight into the glass wall…. Thats fine she may not have realized… what i dont understand is why oh why would she continue to kick and scream at the wall…. at what point will she realize the screeching only hurts both party’s ears and just MOVE on!

Why stay with anyone who constantly makes you miserable?

Its an interesting delima that has me scratching my head.

Vulnerable

I am here at work @ 6:30 on a sunday morning and listening to John Legend…
and, as he normally does, the words to his songs make me miss being in a relationship… despite myself……

This just might hurt a little

love hurts sometimes when you do it right

dont be afraid of a little bit of pain

pleasure is on the other side.

That line gets me every time…. as if to say all the reasons for your “hiatus” is just a childish fear of the dark, giving a gentle nudge to step into the unknown, live a little because it is worth it.

But then…. the song ends and the monsters return

Talks

Had a talk with my father this morning in which i outlined my decision re having a family. And his initial reaction mimicked most o my other friends…. but then he stopped.

Its one of the things i love about my parents… their ability to respect my decisions… mind you if they don’t like it they will pray about it… but at the end of the day, they love and support me still.

Yep i i think i love my peeps

Can you hear me?

Recently I saw two ppl fall out of love because the ways they communicated was incompatible …. fascinating. Where as one needed to hear things ever so often and often said sweet nothings themself… the other partner was more action oriented and much less Verbal. It turned out that both were shouting at the top of their lungs yet neither could fully hear the other………….

Man and Woman Story: Learning

Every so Often a female friend speaks to me about something wrong that a male acquaintance has done to her….. and once in a while she may speak of something that I have done or Could see myself doing easily……… In such instances I smile and Nod and try let her see where the offending male might be seeing things incorrectly……..

But the more this happens the more at times I feel to throw my hands up in frustration….. how on earth are you suppose to avoid all the speed traps…… how can you keep all these things in mind……………………………….?
I know, of course that this is all a result of the side of me that prefers the “path of least resistance” talking…………………………….
The thing is I have found that people have the remarkable ability to forgive and to give second chances……. It is for us take advantage of them and to learn from our mistakes………………………

A recurring problem I find though the difference in point of view………………….. Many Times some of the things I have done wrong I do not really see why they are such a profound Issue until I finally hear a female friend confide in me the problems she’s having………………… Only then does the light dawn on me……. Sometimes……. Other times I just have to mark it as a difference and just work with it.

In any case…. I know many things are easier said than done, and you never really know what you’ll do until you’re in a givin situation…. But I hope I’ll learn… from those around me… and from my own experiences….. thats what life is about right?