The heart is willing…..

Alas, it would seem that i too am getting old.

In the past 3 weeks (or 4, I mix it up sometimes) I have caught the flu twice, been so sick that it scared me enough to go to the doctor (for those of you who dont know, I HATE going to the doctor, so ye I was pretty scared) and i now have constant laboured breathing (the mere fact that i notice it is alarming enough)

All this are signs that my body is cracking under the demands i have placed upon it, strangely enough i cant fathom why.

There is a part of me that wants a proper illness, that wants me to be bedridden just so that i have legitimate excuse to stop…. why?… because anything less would be unwarranted. I am surrounded by a culture of constant self sacrifice and martyrdom  at both pan and work, and i already feel like a bum.

Now mind you I know I DONT want to be bedridden… that I know for sure, but every time i get sick now-a-days, there is a sense of relief…. now i can get a chance to rest.

I think i have reached the point where i now need to change my lifestyle to maintain any semblance of health… most men get here after age 50 with the aid of nagging wives.  But in this I am lost, Nagging wives are very essential to a healthy lifestyle it seems (no i still don’t want to get married ) I have the desire to change but no idea what direction i should go in.

Me…(Right now)

The following statements are accurate for the duration of this post.

• Why am I here? Because i don’t want to be at home
• I am not unhappy, I am just tired
• Lyming…..not so appealing any more, but still kool
• Tired and easily annoyed
• Questions own level of incompetence and acknowledges one is FAR from superman
• Likes getting things done
• Works because it is safer than…….

Friends

“Don’t Follow fren!”

That was a common refrain I heard while growing up. It often referred to not letting your School work suffer because of those who you would hang out with.

But now that one is an adult one has to ask? what is more important your friends or your Job?
That, I have found, is not as clear cut.

The reality is one must find the balance, yet the balance is often elusive and we usually end up swinging from extreme to another (at least I do).

Mek Him Gwaan

The title speaks to a trait i have seen in some women… definitely in my mother and in other women who have been in relationships for prolonged periods of time.

It is the ability to know how to, as my mother says, “Pick your battles”.
As many women will attest to, men are prone to doing stupid things. Some women have the ability, however, to tolerate this “imbecilic” behavior. There are those who are born with a spirit of tolerance and long suffering that makes them predisposed to “putting up with his rubbish”, and there are others that will only learn through experience. This can be a painful process.

**** the world, Dont ask me for ****

There is something alluring about someone who keeps fighting against all odds.

♫ It is to You ♫ – Byron Cage

For some reason this song ALWAYS brings tears to my eyes…. to say it reaches me is an understatement.

It is to you i give the glory
It is to you i give the praise
For you have done so much for me
And i will bless your holy name
It is to you holy father no one like you
And i will bless your name
Bless your name
Bless your name forevermore

It is to you i give the glory
It is to you i give the praise
For you have done so much for me
And i will bless your holy name
It is to you holy father no one like you
And i will bless your name
Bless your name
And i will bless your name forevermore

It is to you i give the glory
It is to you i give the praise
Lord you have done so much for me
And i will bless your holy name

It is to you holy father no one like you
And i will bless your name
Bless your name
And i will bless your name
Bless your name
And i will bless your name
Bless your name
And i will bless your name
Bless your name
Bless your name
Bless your name
Bless your name forevermore

Resposibility

How responsible are you for someone else.

If you know carrying out a particular course of action is bad for them, is it incumbent on you to stop?
What if they know its bad for them and they don’t want you to stop, what then?

Lessons learned while at the gym.

Lesson 1.
Pride commeth before a muscle strain.

Reminded

Today i was reminded why i have chosen not to get married.

The truth as i see it: Why?

I just watched 2 women fighting over a man on facebook… and my first thought is “why aren’t both of them doing this to him?”

Why is it that the guy comes out the unscathed 9 times out of 10 when 9 times out of 10  he is the reason there is a problem?

Today i saw i clip from pink panther the movie where the inspector pointed out that the woman he loved did not know how beautiful she was and he could not tell her this simply because if she knew then she would pick someone else.

Is it a case where some women just do not know their true value?

The thing is, knowing one’s true value does not mean you will get what you want… but it sure does not mean you need to take anything that comes along…….

For a long time I have thought that if I had a child I wanted a daughter… and i thought the most important thing to teach her was that every action has a reaction… but now i am beginning  think the most important thing to teach her is to understand her own self worth… but how do you teach a human being this?