Alas, it would seem that i too am getting old.
In the past 3 weeks (or 4, I mix it up sometimes) I have caught the flu twice, been so sick that it scared me enough to go to the doctor (for those of you who dont know, I HATE going to the doctor, so ye I was pretty scared) and i now have constant laboured breathing (the mere fact that i notice it is alarming enough)
All this are signs that my body is cracking under the demands i have placed upon it, strangely enough i cant fathom why.
There is a part of me that wants a proper illness, that wants me to be bedridden just so that i have legitimate excuse to stop…. why?… because anything less would be unwarranted. I am surrounded by a culture of constant self sacrifice and martyrdom at both pan and work, and i already feel like a bum.
Now mind you I know I DONT want to be bedridden… that I know for sure, but every time i get sick now-a-days, there is a sense of relief…. now i can get a chance to rest.
I think i have reached the point where i now need to change my lifestyle to maintain any semblance of health… most men get here after age 50 with the aid of nagging wives. But in this I am lost, Nagging wives are very essential to a healthy lifestyle it seems (no i still don’t want to get married 
) I have the desire to change but no idea what direction i should go in.
