I dont want to go back to school simple because i am lazy. Yet in today’s uncertain climate, masters are a dime a dozen. You can no longer compete with just a Bsc. As a result i must now look to keep myself competitive 
I am dragging my feet, gleefully stopping at all the obstacles before me, but the stark reminders of reality wont allow me to rest (sigh)
Interesting when one cant trust your own thoughts and motives. It makes you wonder how do those who suffer from mental illnesses cope… what do you do when you know you are going crazy but cant stop it. It must a terrifying experience.
Yet even as i type this i am reminded of a BBC program where a doctor suffered from a stroke.
She described the morning she had the stroke as the world around her seeming alien. Suffering from hallucinations and having a feeling of slipping away she was able to identify her symptoms and realized she was having a stroke.
The amazing part of her story (i found) was that once she realized/identified what it was that she was experiencing her first thought was “Kool!”. In those minutes while she struggled to get help, she speaks how fascinated she was to see how everything around her was warped/different, in essence a whole new world.
The part of her story that brought tears to my eyes was the point in the interview she broke down. She was describing the trip to the hospital. She was dimly aware Of her surroundings. But within her head she was in place of absolute bliss… and for a time she was fighting to hold on to her body, eventually though she let go… she accepted death, welcomed it, the peace, the release.
When her voice broke, I felt it deep. I know i don’t fully understand what she went through. But how do your recover from giving up on life, when the return was against your will?
I never got to listen to the entire interview, i hope to download it. but it is a wonderful story. At least i think it is.
Your greatest enemy is in your own head.
This was the premise on which the movie Revolver was based. Fantastic movie!
It left me querying my own Motives and fears, and low and behold Mr Gold resides in my head too. Even with this realization however, defeating Mr gold is a mammoth task.
Here’s to us all overcoming our chief nemesis.
