The other day i had the opportunity to talk to a young lady who i had been admiring from afar for some time and i found myself put off by the fact she seemed to be unable to speak standard English……….
How stuck up am I?
To be put of by the sound of the native language of my country?……
Have you ever felt like the you that people see and admire is not the real you and you are just waiting for them to realize this and remove all the accolades and medals?
What do you do?
1. Protest loudly
2. Silently wait for the inevitable realization to kick in
3. Run
But then there is always a 4. where this ‘admiration’ is all in your head…..
Today I offended a friend by refusing to drive her car.
As a rule i dislike driving other peoples cars… mind you My reluctance grows as the level of love they show for their cars grows.
There are some friends I will NEVER drive their car, just because.
My uncle is a perfect example.
He LOVES his cars and takes great pride in them…… I can tell you, however, unless someone other than myself is gonna die… i aint even getting in the drivers seat of his car.
That’s just me…
Now I am not saying i don’t love my vehicle, I do, and i want to be able keep it in perfect shape, But i have been blessed, or cursed, with the ability of not holding on to things too tightly… and while somethings will hurt (like b*tch) i can move on really quickly.
In light of this, having been in countless near accidents, iether through faults of my own or other drivers, as well as 1 write off and 1run in with a trailer, Everytime I sit behind my wheel I am cognizant of the fact atht i could be in another accident… Now Some of you may think this abnormal, I dont, its just the reality.
As a result, I feel much bettter facing this risk in my own car then in anyone elses.
Now this is not a hard and fast rule… its just a preference… i will avoid driving your car if i can… but testosterone allows me to fake the usual manly confidence of being able to handle anything on 4 wheels.
I will smile and say “SURE” all the while quakeing inside and asking “are we there yet”.
On the flip side… I have NO problems lending my vehicle out… but then its mine
and i can let go if anything…. I just dont know about you.
A friend asked me recently what animal do i think best describes me…. for a long time I loved the concept of dolphins but of late i find myself feeling more like a wolf.
What animal do you think embodies you best?
It project time again and with it the requisite sacrifices my friends have to make.
Yesterday a friend commented on how i no longer visited them anymore, and while it was said in jest I realized that again i have been doing this to a number of people close to me….
Long ago i realized that your friends will take everything you give them…. through no fault of their own, its just human nature. This was really hard realization for me and since then I realized it is for me to decide what is “too” much, at what point to I “turn the tap off”.
Then (and still today) I decided Work and Pan (oh!, and MAS CAMP FRIDAYS!) are MINE. This was/is to be non-negotiable. I have learned to harden my heart to keep my commitments to these (almost).
And so, I am short and ill tempered with a number of ppl. I do feel pangs of guilt at times, but i realize it is becoming easier for me to get over it :s
Then there are those I just dont want to be around :-/ (sigh)
Fortunately…. my friends do not depend on me for survival so……… Until this project is over…….
Today, while having another discussion with myself, I sought to describe two people and the in doing so I realized I used a word common to both:
“fascinating”
Now, the truth of the matter is while they both are fascinating people, they VERY different…. In fact I find alot of people fascinating… but no two people are fascinating for the same reason……
As a result it diminishes my ability to show awe in which i hold each of these people….. Its like in the movie The Incredibles the quote: “‘Everyone is special’ is just another way of saying no one is“.
And that couldnt be even more further from the truth……
It is a sad limitation for corrent mode of communication we as humans use… but then Telapathy is another can of worms… there are times we have thoughts that are best left unsaid,unheard & unknown.
There are times we (I) get caught up in the high level philosophies of christian living that we forget some of the basic fundamental truths.
Signed: Just been slapped
What if you realized one day that you are the guy in the basic instinct movie (pt 2). Would you have enough blood left in your brain to know that you should run?
As February 6 approaches little by little the team assembles itself and gears up for another season of fun.The electric anticipation will only continue to build until………….. that date 2009
Already transportation, Tickets, accommodation and shirts are being organized… a cohesive well oiled unit designed to facilitate that which we all love….. “in ma veins in ma blood”
This was an interesting snippet i found….. for some reason i can identify with it 
Even in the turmoil within my own head
i know the way to to calmer seas
but stupidity and recklessness
are my most trusted allies
In my never ending rebellion against……… me
