A growing wanna be pannist……

Last Thursday i was reminded by my section leader about the importance of giving %100 to the things you are committed to…. this applies to both work and pan.

But I digress….

I have noted an interesting change in my attitude towards pan.
Of late i put my phones away…not wanting any call in to interrupt me during the practice

I Want to Roll Better

I want to play songs better

I hear what the Director is saying

I am willing to try more

I am Less likely to think a mistake was mine

I want Drill songs more (by myself mostly)

Funny how I didn’t want much of this when i started… I look back and its like looking at childhood… no worries, no care beyond getting a tricky run… avoiding anything i thought would be too difficult to get…. now, there is a drive within me to play at a higher level.

I remember when Bernie had just joined the band and I was amazed at his drive to improve his skill… it was alien to me then…. now i think i am beginning to to understand and see it in myself… a small spark.. but there none the less..  and its growing.

Is this what maturing is about?

Fascinated

There are people in this world that fascinate me.
People who’s mind and character compel me to take a closer look. Sometimes, these people become my friends and I am glad, because my life is better for it.

A reminder

This is a Reminder
to those who have forgotten
and to those who may choose to ignore
of who i am

This is a reminder
that I am Tired
a Reminder that i am about myself
A reminder that my time and devotion is to work and pan
that I can be there up to a point and no further
For no other reason than I choose not to…

because I am tired

This is a reminder
that i am not looking or waiting
I am existing, drifting
deliberately………

This is a reminder
that i may not ever stop drifting
for that is my choice made by my head and a tired heart

This is a reminder
that this is best
for me.
At least so I believe whole heartedly and unequivocally.

This is a reminder
of who i am and what I am about.