Mixed Feelings

Life is such that things and people must change and move on.

On matters concerning people leaving the band… there are those who ‘leave’ that, though I feel a sense of loss, I don’t really feel that they are gone. Perfect examples are Trinibass and basschocolate…

Even though they both are currently on ‘breaks’… one more indefinite than the other… I Feel a sense of loss only as so far as to know that when I look up I wont see them playing on the pans… Yet I know that as far as being prominent individuals in my life, they will still be there…. as a result my sorrow is not as profound…
Pan might have lost them but I havn’t.

There are others however that when they look to leave you know that the days of their being prominent in your life are numbered…. Such instances are always somewhat difficult to deal with.

Strange

The more I talk to ppl and the more I see just how infinite the dimensions that make up the people I know are….. The more I feel I am 1 dimensional.

I am not sad about this just in awe of others and yet thankful for my simplicity.

Follow up

I ended up not drinking fri. Had a blast though. My anthem this year is from Mr Slaughter “Spread the love”. The chorus is what does it for me:

“Soca in ma vein soca in ma blood”

Tonight.

I really feel like drinking tonight
… pity I am broke…
really feel like drinking…..alot….
ok maybe not alot dont want to get drunk…. just want a buzz…
a nice buzz…
I really feel like drinking tonight

Moods/Stranded… a 2 in 1 post

MY MOOD
So! My car is.. again.. out of commission. And like clockwork my mood has began its downward spiral.

In-spite of this there is part of me that is grateful, as I find that such moods improves the efficiency and focus with which I work. Seeing that my work load has now become quite heavy… the timing is not too bad…. except I can’t charter home when I work late because I don’t have enough money to cover that cost… which means all this great focus goes to waste.

Bummer

STRANDED
In any case let me relate the scenario with which my car recently abandoned me…….

So I leave practice say something near 10 I think I should go to work, but before I do, I link up with SM… We end up lymin and chatting till 1:15am as i drop her home I am almost tempted to go to my own yard but decide against it.

Really, my work load is ridiculous and there is no way 8 hrs or even 12hrs in a day is gonna cut it.. so I run down to work…. Mind you I haven’t eaten anything since lunch but I am not really hungry. I get there 1:30 and start working and a hr later my stomach tells me that its gonna shut my thinking processes down If I don’t attend to its needs… so I am forced to leave to get food…..

I get to my car and turn the ignition and low and behold NOTHING!

No matter what I tried the car refused to start…….

As a policy I don’t travel with cash late at night… and, for some dumb reason, I left the only phone with credit at home….

Stuck in new Kingston with no money, no ride and no credit… YAY!

Of course I came up to the office and started laughing

of course thee was no way I was gonna be able to do any work..My stomach was still in the process of shutting down most of my thought processes…but it was strange I was hungry and without a car stranded in new Kingston and all I felt to do was laugh. <sigh> i am smiling even now… life is just Fun and Games believe me

In any case there is a happy ending used the phone at my office to call city Guide, I figured I should know most of the drivers who work at that time… got one and he was cool enough to wait till I got the money sympathizing with me about my car…. btw all of city guide knows about my car now.

Relationships and the Induvidual

NEVER loose yourself to a relationship, retain your identity and your independence at ALL times.
I am not suggesting an extreme… just a balance.
I once told a Friend;

“Any woman I find myself with must see me as a part of her life. From my end anyone I am with will be A focal point not THE focal point”.

Now i don’t know if i am wrong to think like this, but you will be hard pressed to convinced me to let another human being become my whole life.. that’s just not how I operate… Don’t get me wrong, who I am with will take priority over almost everything… but she will not become My identity.

I Do not want the responsibility of being 2 people… Live your life it is yours Not mine Don’t give it to me.. I don’t want it.. I want share our lives, not give or take.

P.S. this not directed at anyone…just something I feel strongly about. And no, this is not an indication of my current relationship. If my GF was like that then clearly I would not be with her.