The other day told my SO/GF; “My peace of mind is more valuable than my savings account”.
Now I wonder is this really the way I should live… what gives you peace of mind today may haunt you tomorrow. Is it right then to live by the creed; “Let tomorrow take care of itself” ? Are those the words of a wise man who has learned to enjoy life or an irresponsible child?
Independence is the freedom to be……..
Independence is the freedom not to be……..
Independence is the freedom to belong…….
Independence is the freedom leave………
Independence is the freedom to do…..
Independence is the freedom to do nothing…..
Independence is the freedom to give……
Independence is the freedom to withhold….
Independence is what I value
-> A good meal
->Peasant skirts (worn by women)
->Baileys Rum Cream (will settle for Sangsters)
->Soca/Calypso/Pan
->Cuddling
-> Not having my car
-> Being hungry
-> have people upset with me
-> Being made to feel incompetent or stupid
-> Disappointment
“You get married when you are too young and stupid to know better”. This was an intresting statement that a senior citezen said to me this week.
hmmmmmm
Ok of late the F word thing is getting worse, I am not praticularly depressed.. I am not listening to much Hip Hop, yet I am now curseing quietly to myself…
The other day after dropping My GF/SO home I couldnt wait to let her out of the car to scream it at the top of my lungs… and no it wasn’t anything she did.. I just was just in a sour mood.
It is weird I feel almost like I have it bottled up and once I say it I will feel some great release…. hmmm so what to do… After saying it each time I feel guilty… My parents have trained me well it seems. Inspite of this, the urge to curse grows daily and I dont know how long it will be before something fustrates me enough to just let off a string in front of everyone.
Today I was reminded one should be careful how one says what to people as it can be very hurtful… I dont mean to hurt people but then I am not perfect …. (sigh) …. If only I was………..
Of late I find myself saying this most unclean of curse words very often in my head… I t could be attributed to the high volume of Hip Hop I have been listening to of late but for some reason I doubt that is the only reason…
What has me worried is the fact this is fast becoming something I have to stop myself from exclaiming out loud.
Hmmm a definte problem especialy seeing who My SO is… talk about loosing nookie points :S
HE felt as if something was lacking..
that he was not doing something…..
He was missing somthing…
yet as he looked about him he could not find what it was
They were growing as induviduals
but were the growing as one?
So he searches..maybe not enough
but as he casts about in the darkness
Seeking that… Something
the haunting strains of a song he seeks to deny
continues to play in his head.
In a talk I had with a Friend recently she revealed that the way she behaved around people was not because that was how how she felt, but actually an effort put out on her part, to not do what she feels simply because she knows it is wrong.
I had never looked at things in that light and I commend her for doing it so well.. I hope to be able to emulate such steadfastness some day as tackle My preferred path.
