My Season

February 8, 2010 by jusidle

Let me begin by saying that i actually like my job and i love being in pan, and so for the most part my days are pretty OK. However, I am never feeling as fully alive as when two events occur.

SOCA SEASON
In the words of the great Machel Montano “This Season is my time…”. My week now is all about the building excitment of the coming friday.
Last friday saw me (and the rest of the Wyning Criminalz Crew) at the first mass camp soca fete of the year. I went around greeting every one with the words “welcome home”,  they all laughed but knew exactly what i meant. In review i am forced to say that it was a certifiable BOOM BLAST, a great start to what is looking to be a wonderful season.

PANFEST
Not to be out done though, is perfoming on stage in a production of the caliber of panfest. But it does not stop there, to know that you are a part of such a spectacular production team working with EXCEPTIONALY talented ppl….. I am feeling chills as i type.
The first meeting of the committee was held this sunday, and already i am beginning to feel the dread, the excitement, the frustration, the joy, the nervousness and the thrill building.


Yes I can now officially say that with the passing of this weekend MY TIME OF YEAR HAS BEGUN! To say i am happy is an understatement of unparalleled proportions.

Blank Fridays

January 29, 2010 by jusidle

As I am typing this Post (listening to soca) I am feeling chills. Today will be the last “blank Friday” i will have for the next 2 months ….. :D
To say I cant wait for for next week is an understatement of EPIC proportions. My whole year revolves around this season without question.

Last night a friend asked me to let her know when i would be going to the friday fetes…..<sigh>

Let me state unequivocally and clearly;  Baring unsurmountable obstacles (eg hospitalization) I will be at ALL (yes you read it right, ALL) mas camp Friday Fetes for the upcoming Soca Season.
What this means for everyone who I interact with is that between 10pm and 2am on a Friday-Saturday if you are not at Mas camp do not bother to try to contact me…… its a waste you your time and energy. ;)

Already the mas camp posse has begun to assemble sending random texts to each other building the hype and sending the call out far and Wide

“All MAS CAMP  MASSIVE ASSEMBLE!!!!!!!”

You can tell by the we greet each other; “February 5″.
Its almost like a call sign for all who share them fire (♫in ma viens♫). This year has seen some new comers wanting to join the party… to those ppl I say welcome, I hope you can survive it ;)

For this Year music Wise my favorites are:
Anthem of the year: Higher Mas – Zan
Hype Song Of The Year: Hunting – Blaxx

As the season progresses the other categories will get filled

VENTING

January 16, 2010 by jusidle

Again and again I’m assaulted by my own inadequacies and I don’t like it.

I ask for time to make one simple modification to an application to make the user’s life easer…

  • due to lack or foresight: I misjudge how much work is involved and give a tremendously inaccurate timeline
  • due to an inability to have a clear vision; I constantly come across roadblocks i should have foreseen
  • due a lack of discipline; I refuse to work on it when i know that my deadline looms ominously closer by the second

I love my job and i like writing code, but it is times like this i wonder if i am good enough… and the answer seems to be no.

Feb. 5 2010

January 5, 2010 by jusidle

Already I can feel the buzz in my bones… tick tock tick tock… time cannot move fast enough, But i will be patient I have 1 month to go, 1 month to work on my fitness.

Why? Well i want to be able to jump, wave, bounce and wine from 10pm straight to 2am on the 5th of February 2010, and at my current fitness level I wont make it to 10:15pm.

In any case come that Friday night, regardless of my physical condition……….

♫ This season is My Time, its a full cup and a hard wine ♫ – Wining Season by Machel

‘The Hiatus’ status report

January 5, 2010 by jusidle

WARNING! This is post just for the sake of posting.

As some of you know, i am currently on my ‘hiatus’. This is supposed to be my time to find out whether not a relationship (and by extension marriage) is what is best for me.

So far the answer has been a not so emphatic no. The implications of this is that the research is ongoing.

Christmas Concert 2k9 – Committee Chair

December 29, 2009 by jusidle

I was supposed to write this the night after the concert and as a result of my procrastination i have forgotten much of what i wanted to stay.

From the get go this concert was a shaky thing in my head, I knew it was possible but i thought it would be difficult. In the meeting that started the committee i said a lot of rubbish as well as somethings I now regret. It was in this mindless paroxysm of verbal diarrhea I ended up chairing the concert….

So after such a crazy start the team gets together and starts putting the plans in place… again i must say i had my reservations about a number of things… and many times I wondered how the H did we think we were gonna pull this off, but amazingly it was the members of the team that kept me going.

Now i have to say HUGE, HUGE thanks to Bianca Rory and Raisha…. I felt like i was at the helm of a team that didnt really need me…. these are all people who are VERY VERY GOOD and WAY more experienced at these things than i am…. In fact many times i felt like i was slowing them down (even if work was not getting in the way) . They all made HUGE sacrifices to pull this show off. Not to mention the King himself…. this man is just an amazing visionary… as a technical director and his work on bring the concept to life… i am simply in awe….

Through it all i really felt like i was just a spectator watch people who were perfect in their craft set about doing both what i asked them to do and what I forgot to ask them to do, this concert truly happened in spite of me…. seriously….. I absolutely LOVED working with you guys and can’t wait to do it again… I can only stand in awe and marvel at what you all are able to accomplish.

I would say more but after just writing the section leader post… i tired and i need to get some of JPS work done.

Christmas Concert 2k9 – Section Leader

December 29, 2009 by jusidle

At this point i feel like i owe my section and the band an apology, but before i get into that.

B…… I cannot thank you enough….. You have taught me SOOOOOOO much re how to dealing with the music and my section… (I know i have been slow in implementing what you have tried to get in my thick skull but….) Trust me… I wish I had learned these things Way before I became section leader, i still am an amateur at this and i think i will eventually get the hang of it but until then……

RAE- Boy!………. Thanks for stepping in to save my section, believe me you were a life raft when I was drowning, (special thinks to Sean aka WB aka WSB as well who put up with me and was there to help every time i called)

As for the apology to my section,to be honest when september came around and I started to see ppl pour in, I was just lost. I had way more ppl than i could manage, and again, in spite of me, my section pulled off the concert, I admit we had room for improvement, but that blame lies on me, these guys worked there asses off.

Roxanne: WOW! talk about a turn around! this girl is just amazing… Her disposition often put ppl off But I will tell you… You can NEVER question her work ethic and stick-to-it-ivness… she is WITHOUT QUESTION my most improved player of the year… and all of this is through her Hard work and diligence. She has surpassed ALL my expectations without question and i am truly glad she is on my section.

Cathryn: LOL! the glue that held the section together, the lighter that inspired us and burned us when necessary. I can say she is, without doubt the leader of this section. Her charm and fiery personality dragged this section to the concert and then some. I KNOW without a doubt I/We could not have done this without her.

Avalon: She came and i chucked her of the deep end and subsequently ignored her for the rest of the semester until time for the concert…. Can i tell you, she never let me down (sigh) I cannot Thank her enough… needless to say my rating for her as musician and as an individual has gone through the roof.

Duran: the seconds Superstar, boy I owe him an apology, I doubted. This man is an awesome player and i fully deserved the cussing i got from his former section leader. Without a doubt he is one of the best players i have seen and i think i did him a disservice. He is one of those people i believe we are all better for knowing.

Rashelle: She came into the band as a new member and to be honest i basically ignored her for the semester, and yet still she stepped up to the plate and not only pulled her weight, made it clear that she was a talented and experienced pan player…. I definitely did her a disservice and I hope to make it up to her next semester.

Tjenieve: Twinny!, at times i despaired at her lack of practice, and because of my constant state of being a Headless chicken I didn’t do much about it. But she stepped up and did what she needed to do. I must acknowledge the sacrifices she made to be at the practices, in spite of it all her desire to play was that much stronger.

Rochelle: LOL! I never see someone able to infuriate me so! Lawd!, and yet in spite of that I enjoyed having her there. There is no question she is a very good pan player and at times i wondered when would she step up her game. But without a doubt she did, I guess in the end I doubted her when i should not have. Without Question she did her part and then some… her bubbly personality kept us going even through the toughest times. I also apologize as there were time i treated her a bit more harshly than others but… she still pulled through, and for that i am grateful.

Chiaka: My Vincy superstar. I had High hopes for her, without a doubt she is a very good pannist. I was Happy when she told me she would be able to make it for the concert, but by then i was so disorganised that i only gave her one song. Yet she committed the HOURS of practice almost every practice, sometimes to only run through her song once, never once complaining and doing her part with a cheerful disposition. Yes i did do her a disservice and for that I apologise. I just hope i can make it up to her next semester.

Stacy: My girl, Rain, sunshine, Sick, Tired, through it all, with everything that was happening around her, a true veteran and stalwart, no question as to her skill and dedication. Nuff said. It was good to have her there. Lets hope we can do it all again ;)

Gillian: How does one be the section leader to someone who you have been taught to fear from the first day you entered the band. Add to that, a skill level that FAR surpasses your own…. The amazing thing, though, is that at no point did she make me feel in any way intimidated. In fact I enjoyed the songs we did together, even though she was CLEARLY light years ahead of me, I still felt like we were in this thing together, her wisdom and guidance seriously helped me survive the concert and i doubt it would have been possible without her. I really do look forward to playing more pan with her.

Thats 10ppl WOW!
I had ten ppl on 4 pans… lets not do this again! I did not fully appreciate the size of the section until we took the group picture (check facebook). Amazing! I mean when i say I truly love you guys and you all make me proud to be a seconds player and humbled to be your section leader.

Re my apologies to the band, I know that often times the seconds held back progress and again i must say it is as a result of my constant state of headlessness. I am grateful for all your help suggestions and patience.

PS! I need to mention Aleiya and Krystle for stepping in to help with my section when i was helplessly lost as well.

Giving Birth

December 7, 2009 by jusidle

Having just watched a video of a woman giving birth, I ask myself; “do i want to knowingly inflict this upon a woman I claim to love?”

Awkward…

November 17, 2009 by jusidle

As i get older I find myself being friends with more and more married males but this raises a very intresting and awkward situation.
As a Rule i never talk about a friends SO in anything but a utilitarian manner… ie very nuetral and safe, preferabley not at all.
recently however I have come accross an aquantance how seems quite content to go on and on about how HOT his wife is….. now the reality is she is Hot… but I honestly don’t think he would appreciate the fact that I have looked at his wife in that manner.

This leaves me in a quandary as to how to respond to his statements…. I dare not agree with him… yet I cannot disagree… as a result i am forced to do nothing but smile (nodding not allowed). Yet even as i smile i must be  sure it exhibits no signs of lasciviousness whatsoever.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, I have no designs on this man’s wife… but there is a certain unspoken understanding of how men interact re their SO’s that this young man seems bent on having me transgress….. sigh

Father forgive them, for i cannot.

November 16, 2009 by jusidle

This morning on my way to work, I was listening to a  BBC program that interviewed a young woman who had both her hands chopped off when she was twelve.This is after  seeing most of the adults in her village killed.
Listening to this tale, my incredulous question was “Does Jesus really expect me to not hate these people”?
For all the sins i have committed that i constantly have to go back to him for forgivness for, never have i once hurt another human being in that manner. To tuture, to kill, to rape………… Are we really supposed to forgive these ppl.

I know in Africa forgivness and reconciliation councils are all the rage…. but really…. are they just gonna get away with it.

The interviewer asked the girl, “Are you angry?”. “”Sometimes” she answered “But i am not angry at the ones who did this for they were children too who did not know better…. I am angry at the elders”.
But then who is to say these elsers were not raised to do this as well? who is to blame?….. who is responsible?…. i dont know.

Last night i watched Law abiding citizen, fabulous movie… but then my friend spoke about a close friend of hers who was executed last week because of a dispute. And then it hit me that every single person killed in that movie was important to someone….. they were no innocents they all had done bad things, but still……

It is a sad world we live in and i am constantly reminded that we humans are little more than savages.